Fame At Last?

I found a company that makes T-shirts named after my Blog - infamy at last :)

I can feel a present to me coming on.

Where Have All the Cock-Knees Gone?

So it’s the World Cup again! I hate football! IMHO it’s boring. I know there’s a fairly large amount of the world’s population that would disagree, very strongly, with me, but there it is, I’ve said it – I hate football!

I’m not against ball games per say – in fact I’m a huge Rugby fan (my Father was Welsh – it’s sort of compulsory!) but even then I don’t want to watch all the games, just the one’s that matter but in the spirit of live and let live and all that I don’t mind putting up with wall to wall football on the TV schedules for the next four weeks (please tell me it’s only four weeks!). However, I do object when it’s at the cost of something I want to watch every week, 52 weeks of the year. Put it on later, put it on BBC 2, put it on BBC 3 but just give me my Eastenders fix!!

It’s got as far as Wednesday and not even a sniff of Albert Square antics. It may not be the most intellectually stimulating programme around but it’s a ritual that my life is incomplete without. I have a theory that I have, to date, never been proved wrong about – if the phone rings when Eastenders is on it’s always either a double glazing/energy supply/whatever rep, or a man. Women just don’t phone you when ‘Enders is on, unless it’s to discuss an integral part of the plot line, even then it has to be really important to be worthy of interruption.

Eastenders is Valium for the working woman. It’s that half hour between coming home from work and going out again/working again/doing chores etc that you can just leave your brain on the coffee table and unwind without any need to tax your mind – and right now I’m going cold turkey all because of football!

So – BBC, if by any chance you happen to read this, spare a thought for the licence payers out there that don’t give a *@^k who wins the world cup and give us back our soaps – trust me the world will be a happier place for it.

The Drink Of The Devil?

The Drink Of The Devil?
Originally uploaded by Cathy G.

Well.. what else could you drink on 06.06.06!

"The legend began more than 100 years ago, when Don Melchor de Concha y Toro (try saying that after a few glasses of it!) founder of the winery, reserved for himself an exclusive batch of the best wines they produced. To keep strangers away from this special private reserve, he spread the rumor that the Devil lived in that place. Hence the name Casillero del Diablo - Cellar Of the Devil.

A very drinkable Cabernet Sauvignon and a few too many glasses of this and you'll have one hell of a hangover the next day :)

Go To Hell?

Hell is having it's busiest day today.

The town of Hell in Michigan is expecting a horde of revellers to visit today, to mark the date which echoes the Bible's 'number of the beast' .

Mayor (and souvenir shop owner!) John Colone will be selling mugs, T-shirts and deeds to one square inch of Hell for $6.66.

He said "Everyone who comes will get a letter of authenticity saying that they've celebrated June 6th, 2006 in Hell".

Wise Words #1

Most people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.

Abraham Lincoln

June

Fette's Vette

I have been looking for a copy of this for ages! Fette's Vette - MC Chris

Hangovers!

I’ve been doing a bit of ‘hands on’ research into hangovers recently so I thought I’d investigate the subject further. Why does alcohol make (some of) us feel so rough the following day? Even the Bible makes reference to the problems of the morning after! "Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drink" (Isaiah 5:11)

A Hangover is also called a veisalgia - from the Norwegian word for ‘uneasiness following debauchery’ (kveis) and the Greek word for ‘pain’ (algia) and the term is used to describe the unpleasant side effects of too much alcohol or heavy consumption of drugs. The most common symptoms are dehydration, tiredness, nausea and a headache. Other symptoms of an alcohol-induced hangover are difficulty in concentrating, irritability, sensitivity to light and noise, and trouble sleeping.

Not that it’s news to any of us but alcohol causes more than one problem when it comes to hangovers. Ethanol (alcohol) has a dehydrating effect on the body, which causes the dry mouth, lethargy and headache. However one of the most disturbing factors in my opinion is why I get a headache. Apparently dehydration causes the brain to shrink away from the skull slightly – yuck! This is because the other organs in our bodies are trying to save themselves by drawing water from the brain. This triggers the pain sensors on the outside surface of your brain. A suggestion to help to avoid this is to drink plenty of water in between and directly after drinking alcohol (or maybe to just drink a little less alcohol). Just to add to the appeal alcohol is also a metabolic poison which impacts on your stomach lining and causes the nausea. Then just to round off the damage nicely your liver, assuming it still functions, turns alcohol into acetaldehyde and this metabolite is probably even more toxic to your body than the alcohol itself. So it’s really no surprise that you feel ill the morning after a heavy session is it?

One thing that I did find quite interesting, and a little worrying is that some of the nervous effects of a hangover are exaggerated by products of the alcohol fermentation process, such as methanol and fusel oils, which are also called congeners. However when it comes to distilled alcohol, in particular Vodka (a favourite of mine) this doesn’t happen - which is why I don’t feel so bad after a heavy night on the Vodka as I do after a red wine binge. Which prompts the obvious solution, drink more Vodka!

Other factors which are believed to worsen the effects of a hangover are sugar (Found in sweet cocktails alchopops etc), Nicotine poisoning (There is a tendency to smoke more when you’re drunk) and good old fashioned genetics – some people just don’t get hangovers. However if you’re one of those people, before you get smug about it, remember just because you don’t feel rough the morning after it doesn’t mean you’re doing yourself any less any harm when you drink to excess. Lastly there’s also a certain level of psychosomatics with a hangover – if you expect to get one, you will!

So… Suggested Cures/Prevention.

• Drinking a sports drink (not an energy drink) such as powerade or Gatorade to rehydrate your body
• Drinking a large amount of water before going to bed and during the night to rehydrate your body
• Eating mineral rich foods such as pickles or fish
• Drinking pickle juice, i.e. the juice that cucumbers eggs etc are pickled in, in the morning (apparently very popular in Poland)
• Eating something substantial before going to bed to soak up the alcohol (kebabs, pizza etc)
• Drinking coffee (although not too strong as caffeine itself can cause dehydration)
• Drinking orange juice, which is rich in vitamin C
• Eating cabbage leaves or drinking tomato juice
• Cysteine, which is available as an over the counter supplement (N-acetycysteine (NAC)) assists is processing acetaldehyde and is best taken while already drinking and/or before going to bed. Egg yolk is also rich in cysteine, which may be why many traditional remedies contain eggs.
• And finally - the most obvious of them all - don't get drunk!

So it would appear that the urge for a kebab after a heavy night is not so much that it’s the only time one tastes nice but a subconscious effort to prevent a hangover. My personal favourite is still the tried and tested remedy of drinking water before sleeping, works for me - if you can face it that is. Or alternatively just don’t get quite so drunk!

It's Friday :)

Pointless?

I've been playing with photoshop and now I can make moving buttons! I have absolutely no idea what use that particular skill will be but I'm sure I'll think of something. Until inspiration strikes I'll just leave you with this big, red, umm moving spot! Or then again - maybe not!




I give up, my spot will not move - so instead I leave you with a big red spot - exciting huh?

May

Ladybird Ladybird...

Ladybird Ladybird...
Originally uploaded by Cathy G.

In Medieval England farmers would set torches to the old hop (used in flavouring beer) vines after the harvest in order to clear the fields for the next planting.

This poem was sung as a warning to the ladybirds that were still crawling on the vines in search of aphids. The ladybirds' children (larvae) could get away from the flames, but the pupae, referred to as "Nan" in some versions, were fastened to the plants and thus could not escape.

Pupae are the larvae when they have formed a cocoon and are changing into adults. "Nan" was originally an affectionate form of the name "Ann" (but it is now generally used as a short form of "Nancy").

Ladybird, ladybird fly away home,
Your house is on fire and your children are gone,
All except one,
And her name is Ann,
And she hid under the frying pan.

April

Size Is Important!

This piece of modern art can be found around the urinals in the 5-star Sofitel Hotel in Queenstown, New Zealand. Whereas 5-star hotels are normally better known for their opulence, their design or their cuisine this particular Sofitel is gaining notoriety for their men’s room!

The design plays on our fears of being watched in the loo – and for the men who use this particular restroom not only are they being observed, but the girls seem to have no qualms about measuring, photographing or just having a laugh at one of the most ‘sensitive’ parts of the male anatomy (and ego!)

Apparently, apart from being the most popular room in the hotel, it’s also attracted a couple of complaints from Churchgoers and a few hundred people who just want to have a look!

Hotel Manager – Mark Wilkinson, says that the idea behind them was just to ‘put a little levity into a posh hotel’

Odiham's War

Someone told me a while ago that it pays to whinge! I can't say I'm going to argue with that, as a nation it's something that most of us Brits are quite good at, and in a world where customer service should be the backbone of any successful business (in my view) if you're not happy about something you should speak up. As someone who is trying to run their own business it seems obvious - whereas we are always looking for new customers what's the point if you can't hang on to them when you find them? So we do everything we can to make our customers feel good about giving us their money and when we do mess up, because lets be honest, everyone does at some time or another, we do everything we can to fix it and make that customer come back to us again, even if sometimes that means going the extra mile or two!

Business is hard at the moment for a million and one reasons, but as a consequence I find that I'm turning into a right miserable old cow! The upshot of that is complaining about things comes so much easier, and has a certain therapeutic effect! I can't fix the things that I need to fix overnight; so making a mountain out of a molehill over things I can do something about makes me feel better.

The latest victim was the location manager of the Foyles War film crew that visited our sleepy little village recently. We were given a few days notice of their intention to spend around half a dozen days/nights over a two week period filming in our village and very close to our home. So close in fact that we had a huge klieg light hanging over our garden wall, bouncers outside our front door, a myriad of cables to navigate our way around every time we wanted to leave our house and numerous, very inconvenient, requests to turn various lights on or off in the house depending on the shot that they were after.

If I was in a happier place right now I may have got a little excited at the thought of a film crew at our front door, and our house (and business) making it onto the small screen but on another of many bad days they seemed like fair game for a complaint.

I wrote a very sternly worded letter to the location manager and enquired about compensation for the business's affected by their disruption (they closed off just about every public parking space in the village in the process of filming so we may as well of not opened our little gift shop on the days they were there for the amount of customers there were!) So he came to visit to say sorry, which I had to admire, and it was worth it for them because for the sake of letting me have a ten-minute rant and presenting me with a free Foyles War DVDand a signed photo of the star of the show my anger was sated. Which just goes to show how easily people can be pleased. I have a DVD of a TV series that I've never shown any interest in before (and I'm sorry to say but beyond the episode that features our house I probably never will again) and a signed photo of someone I had barely heard of before but I'm happy now. I guess complaining isn't so much about what you get from it as what you get out of it. Sometimes all you need to do to make someone happy is to listen to them.

So look out for an episode called 'Bleak Midwinter' due to be shown in the UK in September, featuring the sleepy little village of Odiham and the back of our house! Fame at last?

New Icon I Have

Adium meets Star Wars, meet Yoda Duck.

The Return Of The Flickr Monthly Scavenger Hunt.

I bombed on the February hunt, I only managed 1 item, which had a lot to do with a general air of apathy for anything creative in February which was bought on by the combination of dark depressing days and nights, a prolonged and alcohol fuelled celebration of my birthday and a deeply ingrained cynicism towards anything romantic!

However with spring just around the corner, the mornings and the evenings are getting lighter and a little more optimism than of late for life in general I'm back on track again.

Here is the list for this months challenge -

1. A Lion
2. People Dancing
3. Empty
4. Something you made (can't be the same item as #19)
5. An animal doing something funny
6. Someone playing a guitar
7. Pink Flamingos
8. A spelling mistake on a sign
9. "I know, it's bigger than the last one."
10. A mural (like on a wall or the side of a building)
11. Far far away
12. A boat that won't float
13. A public toilet
14. A picture of yourself as a teenager (or younger if you are a child)
15. A delivery person
16. Something with a for sale sign
17. Someone blowing a bubble
18. Multi-colored graffiti
19. A hand-drawn sketch (you draw it! Can't be the same as item #4)
20. A lamb

Good luck to everyone who's playing the game and if you like taking photographs and fancy a bit of fun check out flickr and the monthly scavenger hunts, but I warn you, it's addictive.

March :(

A Letter To Our Pets!

I was sent this by email and it just reminded me of a few of the many reasons why, on days like today, I like animals more than I like (some) people!

Dear Cats and Dogs,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not make it yours and I don't find it cute!

The stairway is not a race track! Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Don't think I'm going to sleep on the sofa to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm and disrespect.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or stick your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's bum - NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I cannot stress this enough!


And just to keep the pets happy these are the rules, for people who don't cohabit with a Cat or Dog, visiting our house!

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit.

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"nature )

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly.

Remember: Cats and Dogs are better than kids because:

1. They eat less

2. They don't ask for money all the time.

3. They are easier to train and usually come when they're called (for Cats read sometimes come when they are called, if they are hungry at the time!)

4. They never drive your car.

5. They don't hang out with drug-using friends and don't smoke or drink.

6. They don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions.

7. They don't wear your clothes.

8. They don't need a "go-zillion" dollars for college/university

9. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children, and nobody arrests you!

Badger Or Frog?

I can't decide which is the more annoying, but I am certain that the 'crazy students at the Technic University Delft (holland) playing the famous (?) Badgerbadger cartoon' need to go out more!




What do you think?

February

A Few Of My Favourite Things.

Voted for by the flickr community

Wanna see the slideshow?

WLTM

Another extract from my Bad Cats Book. If you like these then have a look at My cat Hates You.Com .

Ding Dong The Witch Has Gone!

I had some great news today, my neighbour is going away, only for three weeks admittedly but that's three weeks of sheer bliss for me! Don't get me wrong he's not a bad neighbour really; in fact he's quite a nice guy. Twenty something young lad, works as a KP in one of our local restaurant, quite polite in fact he's only got one flaw - he wants to be a Rock Star!

Now I've got nothing against that but my problem lies with the fact that in order to get anywhere in his dream career he needs to practice, and practice and practice, and his bedroom is right next to mine. Which means that HIS AMP IS RIGHT BEHIND MY BED! Add to that the fact that the wall inbetween us is paper thin and it's not a recipe for a good nights sleep.

He has Guitars, both electric and acoustic, a Keyboard, a Drum Machinejavascript:void(0) and even a Violin! There's only so much any normal rational human being can take of Final Countdown being played over and over and OVER again! We had a little chat about his noise levels when I first moved in and when that didn't work I had a little chat to the Environmental Health! We eventually reached an agreement (that is still occasionally ignored) that he shut's up by 11.30pm, and in return I call off the noise pollution brigade and let him know if I'm going to be staying away for the night so he can let loose once in a while.

He sent me a text today to let me know he's off to London for three weeks to do a Music Producers course, I wish him well - no I really do! I don't hold a grudge, in fact I generally feel bad about moaning at him mainly because it makes me feel like I'm turning into my Mother! I can still hear the Echoes of her wailing at the bottom of the stairs '"turn that music down"! Besides he's coming back eventually and if he makes it big it's always worth keeping on the good side of a backstage pass source (I didn't say I didn't like Rock did I?) However, I am looking forward to the best three weeks sleep I have had in the last two years :)


UPDATE!

So now I feel really bad for moaning about him. My old neighbour has moved out, after nearly two and a half years of being moaned at by me for all the noise he makes, but before he left he made me a CD of the songs he's been writing and wrote a very sweet letter which he posted through my letterbox on the day he left.

Cathy

Sorry if I've been a bit of a pain in the arse the last couple of years with my music! But you'll be rid of me soon! Not sure when my official moving out date is yet, but around the 15th March.

My last day at work is 10th, which is a Friday night, so we're going to be having a late night party, I imagine it'll be downstairs so it shouldn't be too bad!

Well here's a CD of stuff I've written, I thought you might like to hear it from the right side of the wall! A fair share of Rock Songs, ballads, instrumentals and classical pieces..! All remastered since my return from London, don't be afraid to turn it up loud, it's professionally done so no glitches! All mastered to the same volume as a normal CD so no messing around with CD player required!

Thanks also for all the inspiring tapes you gave me! Sex and Religion (Stevie Vai) was the last album to complete my collection. When I met him in October he also gave me a rare CD (1 of 2000) not available in the shops!

Well all the best, hopefully next time you see me it'll be on the front cover of a guitar magazine - but don't hold your breath!

Love

Chris Howard

(The noisy neighbour type)

Porn?

A little bit of fun, thanks to Garrett for pointing this out to me. I warn you though - you'll never get the song out of your head :)

Of Mice And Mogs

I had to do something yesterday that I hated having to do. Having never knowingly killed anything larger than a bug in my life (Oh and a pheasant that forgot to look both ways when he crossed the road!) the idea of setting anything other than a humane mousetrap was something I found abhorrent. However we’ve had a bit of a problem with them over the last week or so and unfortunately even I had to agree it had to be done. Cute though I think they are I don’t want to share my home with them.

We’re fairly certain that as opposed to having mice in our house, the mice are being bought into the house by Smodge - my cat. So why has he suddenly decided to start bringing his victims home with him, and what’s more bringing them home alive!

I did a bit of searching around to find out about the whole cat/mice thing. Apparently it’s all about the Mother cat teaching her kittens to hunt. The first stage is to bring home a dead mouse and eat it in front of them; eventually they get the idea and join in. Next she brings them a dead one all of their own and lets them tuck in. Once they’ve got used to mice on the menu mummy then brings them one that’s maimed but still moving and lets her brood have a go at catching it themselves, then eventually once they’ve got the idea she brings them a nice live one and lets them take their hunting test.

So is Smodge trying to teach us to hunt? If he is then he must have sussed out that we’re crap at it by now! We’ve only managed to catch one out of about half a dozen, give up Smodge – we are never going to get the hang of it!

Or is it nothing more complex than the fact it’s winter and he prefers a little warmth and home comfort whilst torturing his prey? Either way after finding one of my lipsticks and a couple of dusters had been eaten and spending two nights trying to sleep whilst listening to the rather disturbing sounds of little feet scrambling around somewhere beneath my bed I’d had more than the humanitarian in me could take.

I had set the humane trap for two nights in a row and I’d actually seen the mouse run into it, get a nice chunk of the Mars Bar bait and leg it straight back out again, unharmed but also uncaged! I had a long chat with it, I explained that its last chance for mercy was to get in the humane trap and stay there before I went to bed, but did he listen? No! So very reluctantly I set the nasty one before I went to bed.

I was prepared to hear it snap in the night, I was prepared to find a dead mouse in the morning, but I was not prepared for what happened! I caught my finger in the trap when I first set it and it really hurt so I felt a little consolation in the thought that he probably wouldn’t know much about it, or so I hoped.

The reality was very different. I was woken up at about 3am this morning by a strange sort of nibbling sound, followed by a sort of dragging sound. I listened for a while then put the light on and was horrified to find the poor little mouse was caught by one of it’s back legs and tail in the trap and was dragging itself and the trap along the floor, it looked very much still alive and very very frightened.

I can’t stand to see animals suffer, not even annoying mice but there wasn’t much I could do. If I released it now it was going to die anyway, its leg was practically hanging off, and besides it was three o’clock in the morning and I sleep in the loft! I was not going to get dressed, walk down two floors and out into a freezing night for a half dead mouse! I couldn’t bear the thought of just leaving it there to suffer, any more than there was a hope in hell of me putting it out of its misery. So I did the only thing I could, I opened the bedroom door and gave Smodge a call! He did the job with his normal aplomb dragging the trap with the mouse towards the garden. The trap fell off eventually, thankfully without any bits of mouse still attached and so far there are no signs of any more. I am going to have nightmares about zombie mice for weeks!!

WLTM

Thanks to Bex and Lee for the funniest Christmas pressie this year, "244 not-so-pretty kitties and cats gone bad" also found at My Cat Hates You there will be many more from this book on my blog so watch this space :)

Januarys Flickr Scavenger Hunt

Well it's a new year, and a new month, which means a new challenge with the monthly Flickr Scavenger Hunt. I didn't quite manage to get all the items for December, which was my first attempt so here goes for January - the list is (drum roll please)...

1. A Red Reflection
2. Something Triangular
3. A New Beginning
4. An Outdoor Statue
5. Something Broken
6. A Bus
7. A Picture OF Your Own Camera
8. A Set Of Screwdrivers
9. A Fire Alarm
10. A Movie Poster
11. A Line With At Least Four People Waiting
12. Your Favourite Book
13. Keep Out
14. The Same Object In Three Different Colours (no photoshop)
15. Something Abandoned
16. 3 Generations
17. Something Dangerous
18. The Boy Or Girl Next Door
19. Re-create Your Favourite Movie Scene with people/props
20. A Resolution

And they're off.......

Happy New Year

What My Horoscope Said.....

Your understanding deepens and you will solve problems - and get a family working together again. Venus unlocks secret feelings - and you see love in special eyes. Draw up a work plan and watch it happen. Destiny smiles in a cinema queue.

Reality!

Well, despite all my good intentions, as is the norm, I started the New Year with a stinking hangover. However my understanding did deepen, my understanding of hangovers that is! Instead of resorting to the usual approach of drinking lots and lots of water then waiting to throw up, I decided to try solid food first to see if that helped but after a while I understood on a new and profound level that the only way my body is ever going to cope with red wine followed by several shots, including something called a brain haemorrhage which involved curdling a shot of Baileys on top of something red, and a concoction that was described to me as liquid cocaine, followed by yet more Red Wine and a touch of Vodka, was to vomit profusely the following day until all traces of the previous nights excess have been expelled!

In a moment of weakness I agreed to deliver a balloon, locally for a customer in France, on New Years Day. It seemed like a good idea at the time, the address was only five minutes away, by car, the only flaw in my logic was that John (Alison's husband) had the car - and he was in Lancashire. It was considerably more that five minutes away by foot! So we decided, eventually, to go for it, kill two birds with one stone and take Jade for a walk, clear our booze muddled brains and deliver the balloon. The fact that the address was opposite a very nice country pub called The Fox and Goose helped clinch the decision.

So we walked, and walked, and walked! Jade had a great time, but hindsight is such a wonderful thing, I think we may have been a little adventurous. The field was really really muddy and by the time we'd made it across it our boots felt like they weighed a tonne.






My head ached, my legs ached, I had blisters on my feet caused by the totally inappropriate footwear I chose for the trek, but we delivered it, popped in the pub and stared at a couple of Jack Daniels and Diet Cokes for a while then began the equally arduous return trip. But even though it felt like a lot longer walk than it really was it certainly cleared the cobwebs and apart from a couple of blisters I felt much better for it. A quiet, sober night in tonight for me I think :)

Welcome to 2006!

:)

January 2006