Well Fry Ma Hide!

I stumbled across a great website if you fancy wasting a bit of office time. the Dialectizer turns text and websites into different dialects, including Redneck, Jive and Elmer Fudd. Here's how The Elephants Child translates into Redneck, hours of fun :)

Th' Art of Ahideg Quesshuns

ah keep six honess servin'-men
(They tought me all ah knowed);
Their names is Whut in tarnation an' Whuffo' an' When
An' How an' When an' Who.
ah send them on over lan' an' sea,
ah send them easy an' west;
But af'er they haf wawked fo' me,
ah give them all a rest.

ah let them ress fum nine till five,
Fo' ah's busy then,
As fine as bustfast, lunch an' tea,
Fo' they is hungry men, as enny fool kin plainly see.
But diffrunt folk haf diffrunt views;
ah knows a varmint small-
She keeps ten million servin'-men,
Who git no ress at all! Fry mah hide!

She sends 'em abroad on her own affairs,
Fum th' second she opens her eyes-
One million Hows, two million Whars,
An' seven million Whuffo's!

Fum Th' Elephants Chile by Rudyard Kiplin'.