December 14, 2008

The Artful Dodger Is Not A Nice Person!!

Last week I fell victim to a pickpocket! I used to think of it as an almost whimsical, romantic, harmless crime a la Dickens etc. It was, at one stage, punishable by death (and right now I'd be leaning towards a reintroduction of the death penalty, or maybe just cutting off their hands would be more appropriate!) the irony being that a public execution [of a pickpocket] was an ideal opportunity for pickpockets to work what with there being quite a major distraction going on.

So there I am all smug 'cos I've done all my Christmas shopping already, I have to add that it's the first time in my life I've been this organised, but when you get paid on the 6th of the month it sort of makes you get on with it. We had the company piss up on Thursday night and as they'd very kindly paid for my train fare to London (and back) and and overnight stay on Thursday night, the man and I decided to meet up on Friday morning and head off to the Borough Market to get a few bits of food for Christmas. I'd never been there before and was looking forward to it.

On arrival we headed straight to the Monmouth Coffee stall, topped up the caffeine levels and bought some coffee beans that smelt as only I can only image heaven would smell if it was an odour.

I was in awe of all the food and sights and sounds and smells and noticed the signs saying 'high risk of pickpockets' but I thought I was ok, after all my purse was in my front pocket, where I (and everyone else!) could see it. How could anyone get it without me noticing?

I'll tell you shall I? Take a camera with you! When you take a photo you're not looking at your purse, in fact you're not looking at anything outside the viewfinder and both your hands are a long way away from your pocket - and there it was gone!!

It's not romantic, it's not funny and it's not even the fact that they lifted the £100 I'd got from the cashpoint (why did I not just get £50!) it's my debit card, my credit card, my driving license, my train ticket, my AA membership etc etc. It's such a pain and I'd really like to get my hands on the piece of scum who got up on Friday morning and decided to make some easy money robbing at the Borough market and shove what's left in my purse where it's going to hurt most. All I can hope for is that they suffered horrible painful injuries when they were run over by a London bus whilst crossing the road, when they were distracted momentarily whilst rummaging through my purse!!!

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